She's here

Birth Story to follow once this girl catches up on sleep.

questions about me link up!

Well I'm still pregnant and getting a little miserable. I decided not to blog about it though, and do this neat questionnaire instead.






How long have you been blogging?

I have been blogging for about 2-3 years on and off... I originally started to keep track of all the awesome adventures my husband and I were planning while living in Europe, but I ended up not loving Europe so much. I'm not the best at keeping up with it... but I try! 

Did you go to college? If so, what did you study?

I did go to college, however I have yet to finish! I'm studying to become an elementary school teacher and hope I can reach that goal one day! Being a military spouse, living in Europe, and now having a baby has slowed down my progress but I'm not ready to give up that dream just yet.

Where have you traveled?

I have been to Canada, England, Ireland, Austria, Germany and Spain. Also various places around the United States such as NYC, New Orleans, different cities in Florida and Philadelphia. My favorite place is my home in Austin, TX. 

If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy?

An awesome house. Then my daughters college education. Then I'd pay off my moms house. 

What are you three biggest pet peeves?

1. Leaving dishes in the sink - not rinsed off. 

2. Not cleaning up after yourself in general. (I'm definitely not a neat freak... but I do believe in picking up your own mess!)

3. Being rude/ungrateful to people in customer service. 

What is your favorite movie?

I have loved Garden State since it came out.. I also love Almost Famous. I don't know if I have a favorite though.

What is your drink of choice: wine, beer, liquor?

Beer. 

What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time?

Anything crafty. Photography. Hanging out with my husband. Spending time with family back home.

If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be?

Tough question. I'd say some type of home improvement/decor store. My first thought was a clothing store but I don't know if I could buy $10,000 in clothes at one time.

Share an embarrassing moment.

I have plenty of those. I once went to a rap show for SXSW, afterwards I interrupted the headlining guy while he was having a conversation with someone unknown, I drunkenly begged him for a picture with a friend. He seemed really annoyed and didn't say much but took the picture. Later I was looking through the pictures on my camera and realized it wasn't him at all. I think it was some guy that was just in the audience, trying to enjoy the show as well. Lol. I'm a dweeb. Okay that wasn't the most embarrassing thing ever but it's all I can think of at the moment.

 What day would you choose to relive again?

If I could chose to relive one day over again, knowing what I know now... it would be the day I agreed to move to Germany. I would have said no. And lived happily ever after.

If your life was turned into a movie what actor would play you?

I have no idea. 

What are the jobs you had in High School/ College?

1. Double Dave's Pizzaworks

2. Schlotzskys

3. Sonic Carhop

4. Macaroni Grill hostess

5. Johnny Carino's Server

6. Assistant Teacher at Day care

Show us a picture from high school or college:

This was either Senior or Junior year of high school. Developed by yours truly. 

 If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?

Home.

Show us the most current picture of you and your family:

Where do you see your life five years from now?

Living back at home in a nice house with my husband and daughter. With an awesome job. 

Is it time yet?

I'm so ready for this pregnancy to be over with! I look and feel pretty gross. I want to see her, I want to take care of her, I want to start healing from labor, I want to start working out again. I want my body back! I have pretty much everything ready for her arrival now. The only thing I'm missing is a bath tub which I'm getting tomorrow.

9 months is a long time, thank god it isn't any longer because I don't know if I'd make it. There comes a point in pregnancy where the excitement of reading daily or weekly progress wears off, the bump is no longer cute but huge and disgusting, having to depend on people is more annoying than ever... and the spark is basically just gone. That point is right around when it's time for the baby to pop out. I technically have 4 more weeks, and the doc thinks she will be late, but I'm REALLY hoping she comes sooner than later. Everything I've read on the internet says there are no accurate predictions of when you will go into labor because anything can happen at any time, and despite the progress you've made, it can go fast or really slow. This is not helpful at all. Yesterday I was told by a friend that she doesn't think I'll make it to by due date. That was nice to hear. Anyways, planning for the worst... I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through these last 4 weeks.. or possibly 6 (please... not 6...).

We finally got the baby's car seat in the mail from my mother-in-law. It the car seat our nephew used not too long ago when he was a baby. There is no head support insert in the car seat so I was looking on amazon to purchase one, but some people claim they aren't recommended if it doesn't come with the original car seat. So, that's my current baby stress. I never thought I'd put so much thought into each baby item we have purchased. I've spent countless hours looking up reviews for different things and making sure what I'm getting is safe, reliable, and decently priced. It gets stressful. Everybody has a different opinion about everything. Anyways, so now I don't know if I should even get a support insert.. bah..

photo source: amazon.com

I thought my last ultrasound was at 29 weeks but I guess I was wrong! I should be having one more next Thursday at 37 weeks. I'm excited to see her again. 

a light.

My last post was about how hard it is for me to be positive in Germany. Not only me, but many other Americans I know here as well. I'm not sure if it's the base we are at or not, but this place can really bring people down! However, that same day I made that post we actually got good, unexpected news. This never happens. A few months ago Matt applied for the FAA at various spots around Texas, some surrounds states, Florida, and even California. Although we listed places outside of Texas, we have really been hoping for Texas and we're 99% sure we wouldn't take a job offer out of state. Even though we have been warned many times that the whole hiring process takes FOREVER and not to be discouraged, I think by living over here we have been conditioned to just assume the worst will happen and not to get our hopes up about anything. So our life-after-the-army plans haven't involved the FAA.. or any great job opportunities for that matter. The day I made my last post I randomly decided to check the status of Matt's FAA application to see if anything has changed. This wasn't the first time I've done this; every time I do nothing has changed and I get a little sad.. so I opened the window and moved the mouse over to automatically click out of it (because nothing ever changes).. BUT something did change. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something that wasn't there before... and the words "Dallas/Fort Worth".. WHHAAATTT.

Basically DFW airport is interested in hiring Matt and is reaching out to get more information from him, and then to *hopefully* set an interview up. This is awesome. It will probably be a few more months before we hear anything else (annoying), but this is pretty awesome news and by the end of this year/beginning of next we might be getting ready to move to Dallas. This is only 3 hours away from Austin, so I can live with that I suppose. This will set us up with financial security for our family and also give me the opportunity to go to school FULL TIME instead of part-time or not at all. So I can have a sweet job one day.

IN OTHER NEWS, I'm officially 9 months pregnant this week. Next week I'll be full term so, little Avery, please make your appearance soon. I would love to see your beautiful little face and be able to sleep on my back again. I went to take pictures of my belly today since Matt isn't home to take it, and I set up my old point and shoot camera on a bookshelf.... bad idea. The camera totally fell on the floor and now it isn't working properly. It still comes on but it's not usable. It actually wasn't working properly before and probably needed to be retired soon so I'm not too bummed... but, I'm still bummed. At least it wasn't my canon. I would have died. Literally.

So, my plan to post a few pregnancy pictures will have to wait.

stuck in a rut

It's really hard to stay motivated and positive in Germany. Most of the time here is waiting to go home. I don't have much going on over here to keep me entertained and I'm in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, so I'm extra unmotivated. I had a 1-2 weeks straight where I had this small burst of energy and felt creative, a little more upbeat and happier but it's seems I've lost it once again. I think part of this is the army's fault for constantly dicking us around and the rest... I think I'm just running low on all my "give a damn" fumes. Something goes wrong here everyday and I think I've just kind of numbed out a lot of the anger towards this stupid base, the army and this country. Whatever. I need a break.

germany=biggest mistake of my life.

Pregnancy Gripes

Okay, sometimes I feel like there is this pressure that you have to happy with every aspect of pregnancy or your a bad mom. I'm here to end that nonsense. There are some uncomfortable things about pregnancy and although Avery isn't here yet, I think I'm going to be a great mom! Here are my top 3 gripes about pregnancy currently.

1. I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant (2 weeks until I'm full term and 5 weeks until my due date!), and feeling like I've been hit by a train. Seriously. My back and hips ache pretty much all day, I'm constantly exhausted, and my legs get all cramped up and tight! Sometimes when I'm walking around I have to remind myself I'm NOT 90 years old. Is it normal to feel 90 years old at the end of a pregnancy? I don't know. I have to admit though, I haven't been keeping up with working out and I'm sure that contributes to my overall uncomfortableness. Oh well. I am going to start getting more exercise in after the baby is born. So long as everything is good and before I can REALLY start working out I'm going to probably take the baby on daily walks. I can't wait! I also cannot wait until I can start running again, or any kind other kind of intense work out. I really want to look better than I did before I was pregnant... hopefully I have the motivation to keep up with this long term goal. It's hard to stick to a work out regimen when you are alone in a foreign country. I need a girl work out buddy and I know I'll have this in Texas.

2. At the end of my second trimester, beginning of my third I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. WAAHHHH. Seriously? Thanks, genetics. I was only a mild form of it, but I was told to watch my carbs and rule out all sugar from my diet. All of it. Like, every last gram. Um, that's hard. Kind of. My carb intake was already well within the limits, so that wasn't a problem. As for sugar, I did have some "sugary" meals and snacks sometimes but I never over did it. Matt doesn't like sweets so we just don't buy the stuff. This kind of made it more frustrating for me to have to reduce even more. I'm pregnant and hormonal, if I want a cookie, give it to me.. hah. Needless to say there were some unnecessary tears about it all from time to time. Sometimes I feel like GD makes a pregnant lady MORE stressed out than she needs to be. I mean if I had a severe case it would be different, but right after I was diagnosed my sugar levels for the past 6 weeks were tested.. and they all came out perfectly normal. That is great and frustrating news at the same time; If everything is normal, why even do this at all? Doesn't normal mean I'm already doing everything right? Maybe I should ask my doctor... oh, wait, I did that. They are German, there is communication issues and although they understand most things, there are something things that just don't connect... Ugh. I seriously wish I had an American doctor (but that is a whole other story). I just wanted to say this, though: I have cheated. Sometimes. Not very badly. But I have. And I'm okay with that! I'm the most paranoid overly protective pregnant lady on the planet I think. I would never do anything to harm my baby and I highly doubt the occasional semi-sweet snack would do anything wrong. And when I say cheat, it's still a slight cheat; I don't go crazy. It just bothers me because I would look up stuff on the internet about it and women would really criticize other women with GD who cheated occasionally. Seriously? It's not like we're doing fucking crack. Lay off. Geez! I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, but this is how I feel about the whole thing. And every time my go to the doctor, he says my baby looks amazing. And in the mean time, I no longer stress about every ounce of sugar.

3. Last pregnant gripe: There are some things you just don't say to a pregnant lady. I'm sure there are MANY things, and I haven't even gotten the worst of it but here are some that bother me: "You look HUGE!" Oh, why thank you.... thanks for reminding me, now I'm going to go analyze my body in the mirror for hours on end. Or, "I don't know, it really looks like a boy to me.." Really? How so? To me it just looks like a pregnant belly and you are not an expert. Plus, all those high/low myths are bullshit. Please don't tell me that, I have bought all girl stuff, all I want is a girl now, and I have no boy names. I don't want to be paranoid about something else.. And last but certainly not least: "Oh just wait until the baby comes, you will REALLY be tired then!" Really? I didn't know that babies wake up in the middle of the night! Thanks for enlightening me. But you're right, I might really be tired then but at least I can breathe normally, walk normally, lay on my back, eat what I want, have a beer if I want, go running, drink coffee, NOT have constant aches and pains, and not feel like a beached whale. Also, I will have my little baby in my arms instead of in my belly. Which is the whole point of pregnancy anyways, isn't it? I feel like women who have had babies before feel like it's their duty to inform pregnant ladies of the lack of sleep they will experience. I don't understand why. It's like telling a marathon runner they are going to get really sweaty. Thank you, Captain Obvious. Okay.. I'm not sure if that was a bad analogy or not but I couldn't think of anything else. Anyways, I just hope I never find myself saying that to anybody. If I do, please slap me.

I was going to write about a lot more things, but, I've already written a lengthy post with no pretty pictures so I think I'll save the rest for later.

dear avery

This is your 29 week ultrasound, it was probably the last time we will get to see your through a machine. This is only good news though, because soon you will be in my arms! Lately, you have really enjoyed my ribs. You like to kick them and have found them to be a nice hang out spot for you. It makes me quite sore! You are getting so big in my belly, you are running out of room. Sometimes I wonder if you are just as uncomfortable as I can get, or if you really like to be snuggled in there tight. Per request of MANY pregnancy books and websites, I usually lay on my left side if I'm laying down. You tend to be more active in the evenings and at night, and when I lay on my left side you kick/punch it a lot! I feel your little feet (or hands?) moving around and it's so interesting. It can keep my entertained for a long time. Sometimes I'll talk to you while you are moving around like that (I talk to you throughout the day, but when you are moving around like that I know you are awake!)... I hope you can hear me and it comforts you. Sometimes your movements aren't kicks or punches, but more like waves drifting across my belly. I wonder if that is you turning around, or doing a flip. I wish I could see what you are doing in there... I'm so curious. We took our hospital tour at the German hospital here where we live... I don't have anything to compare it to from American hospitals because you are my first baby, but I feel pretty good about this hospital and even though your dad and I aren't fond of living in Germany, this place will hold a special spot in my heart because it is where you are going to take your first breath. I can't wait to take you back to Texas though, I want you to be my little Texas baby. Shortly after you are born I'm going to be starting some college courses. I'm kind of nervous about this because I want to make sure that you will be getting all the attention you need.. but everyone assures me newborn babies sleep so much so it should be okay. I'm just afraid I'm not going to want to study, I'm just going to wait to stare at you all day! I have a month before the classes start, so I think I'll be okay. Anticipating your arrival has made think about a lot of things, I want to make sure that your dad and I provide you with everything you need and things you want too! That is why it is important for me to go to school.

At 30 weeks pregnant a friend of mine took some maternity pictures for me. These pictures mark a very significant moment, and I didn't realize it until we took them. This is the time in our lives when our little family went from two to three! I think when I look back on these photos in the future I will remember all the feelings that went through us while waiting for you to arrive. The ending of one chapter and the beginning of another. I get very emotional when thinking about it all. I'm so excited for you to come.

I hope even while snuggled warm inside my belly you feel loved. We love you so much and talk about you all the time. From today, there is exactly 2 months until my due date, and 5-6 weeks until I'm full term. We will meet soon little one!

Love,
Your Mommy

Dear Avery

   It's been a while since I've wrote to you! But if my letters to you mimicked how much you cross my mind they would be WAY off because I definitely think about you all day. Everything with you and this pregnancy is going wonderfully so far. This week we are officially in the third trimester! We've reached the home stretch and you will be in my arms before you know it!

20 weeks

   You are kicking, twisting, rolling, and punching like crazy! I love every single one of your movements and sometimes I just stare at my belly watching your little movements; it makes me laugh because I get so happy and try to imagine what you are doing in there. I cannot wait until you get here but I'm trying to really enjoy every experience with this pregnancy because one day you will be out of my belly and I'll miss having you in there.

20 weeks 4 days

   I really hope I am the best Mom I can possibly be to you. I'm going to try my hardest to make you the happiest little baby.

23 weeks

   My cravings are still relatively the same. Peanut butter, peanut butter, and peanut butter. I also crave Subway occasionally. Other pregnancy symptoms have been a pretty constant backache from all this extra weight I'm carrying, sore and sometimes swollen feet, and it's getting harder to get a good nights rest. All of this is okay though, because it all is a part of making you a healthy baby and I although it can be uncomfortable, I'll take twice as many symptoms if that meant you still were a healthy little baby. Plus, your Daddy has been pretty good at rubbing my back or feet.

24 week 5 days

   Speaking of your Daddy, he loves you so much too! We talk about how life will be when you get here and he tells me how much he loves you and how he can't wait to hold you. He says you two will be best friends. He also talks to you a lot. I can hear it in his voice when he talks to you or about you, how excited he is, and it makes me even more excited.

27 weeks. Third Trimester!

    Our next appointment is coming up in a little over a week and I'm thinking it will be the last time we get to see you before you arrive. We have been lucky with the German doctor here to get an ultrasound at every appointment so far, so it makes me a little sad that I won't see you again after this next appointment, but it also makes me happy because I know that means you are closer to coming out! After this appointment we will be given the go ahead to tour the hospital, meet up with a midwife, and our following appointments will be every 2 weeks instead of every 4. How exciting! We can't wait for you to get here, and I'm already so much in love with you. I know the feeling will only get stronger when you arrive.

Love,
Your Mommy

 

shopping, thrift shopping, school

Since we are staying in Germany for a while longer, I've given into the urge to nest. I've literally been at it for a month, constantly cleaning, changing, and rearranging. Gathering things for baby, such as clothing, rockers, and books... also decorating all around the house, and making big purchases such as new living room couches and FINALLY a dining room table which we have NEVER had (in the 5 years we've been married). I plan to post pictures of the big stuff as soon as we get it looking more like we want it to. I'm really liking the way the house is coming along, and I wish this was something we did a long time ago. Making the house a happy place has really changed my attitude; it's no secret I've gone through bouts of depression while stationed in Germany. I pretty much gave into it and looked at the place we are living in as just a house we are temporarily staying in. I never tired to make it a home... and it was a pretty depressing house. It's funny how much a baby on the way is making things just... happier. I know it my life will completely change once she gets here (it's already changed a lot so far...), and I know it's not easy all of the time, but I'm ready for it!

I've fallen in love with thrift shopping. There is a thrift store on post which I managed to get a good amount of baby girl/pre-toddler clothing (all in wonderful shape) for just a few bucks. I've also purchased clothing items and an AWESOME $25 rocker for the baby that is in great shape at a couple of yard sales. Of course I'm planning on, and already have, purchased some new items and I still need a lot of stuff.... I never buy something that looks worn/old... but I can't pass a good deal! I can't wait until I'm back in Austin and have all the awesome thrift stores it offers at my finger tips. I think I'm getting addicted.

Another change going on in my life is getting back into school... again. I've applied for readmission to the online school I was once going to (before my Germany depression got the best of me and I dropped out), hopefully it will get accepted and I can start classes soon. At this school, I can work at my own pace and classes start every month. I can also try and get as many classes as I want knocked out within a 6 month term. I'm hoping to start May 1st and get a couple of classes knocked out before the baby gets here, then pick back up once I have a schedule down with the baby after she is born. I'll be going for Early Childhood Elementary Education again! I'm so excited.

Thrift find! 25 bucks for this awesome rocker for baby. I'm proud of myself.

Boredom.

This was at 23 weeks. I'm getting big.

The firsts of the baby items I've purchased so far.

change of plans.

We aren't going anywhere. Matt's commander has decided that because of the birth of our baby, and him soon getting out of the army, our best option is for Matt to stay in Germany with me so we can be together as a family. I'm extremely happy that Matt can stay here and be safe, and gets to experience all that is parenting in the coming up months. However, I am a little sad I won't move back to my favorite place on earth (home) as soon as I'd like. I also had to put off school again a little longer, and call off a job interview. The army has really put a dent on my progress with school and feeling independent, and for that I hate it and can't wait until we are out. I put my marriage first, which is the way I believe it should be and I am happy to do so, but sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm being cheated out of doing stuff for myself. I know this isn't forever though, and soon I'll be able to do all the stuff I want to, with my husband and daughter by my side. Just a little more to go! In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the last stretch of living in Europe with Matt and count down the day until my little munchkin gets here.

The time has come.

I've looked forward to this moment since the day I moved away in 2007. I'm finally moving back home to Austin this month. I've imagined this day being pretty much the best day of my life, and all my worries going away, and nothing but happy times to follow. But, funny thing is, now that it's happening I don't feel that way, at all. I have to leave Matt here in Germany because he will be deploying later, and finishing his army career. I feel like the timing is just off; I want to have my family together. I'd rather stay here and wait it out in Germany than us split. I've been pretty pathetic and get very emotional every time it is brought up, and can NOT bring myself to purchase a ticket yet, ugh. My husband is my other half and I can't imagine having to be without him again. I love being with him everyday and all his quirkiness - and even all the crap that annoys me about him, I love and I'm going to miss. Even now, as I'm sitting here typing this and he is playing video games, he has me rolling in laughter over something we are talking about on the side. He is just so silly. He wasn't supposed to deploy again, and this was sort of a surprise. I always thought the day we left Germany we would be together, high-tailing it out of our little German town, dropping off the car, saying "Fuck you, Germany!", feeling completely ecstatic that we are out of there. Unfortunately, this day is probably going to be filled with tears and blurred vision as I try to find my gate wishing I could just go back to the home I created with him. I'm also extremely sad he will miss the first few months of the babies life, I feel like we won't be able to experience some great and important moments together, bonding as a family. 

However, I know this is all temporary, and he will be back soon - less than a year. I also know this is the last time this ever has to happen and I'm counting down the days until the army is behind us! We hate the military lifestyle. I also AM excited about moving home.... I get to be in sunny warm weather, see my mom everyday, see all of my family, and my best friends, and feel a little more like myself. There is just going to be one HUGE part of my life missing for a little bit.

I just thought I needed to get this out because right now it's something I'm really struggling with, and I just wish I didn't have to think about it anymore. I'm also dreading the 11+ hour flight back home at this stage in my pregnancy. 

being creative.

Ever since I was a child I loved to draw. I've always been a pretty creative person and remember countless hours doing arts and crafts with my grandmother, by myself, or at school. In high school I took art all the way to my senior year and loved to draw realistic portraits. In fact, somewhere in my old boxes of unpacked crap and childhood memories there is an old folder of portraits of people such as Marilyn Monroe, Jim Morrison, Conor Oberst, Mary-Kate Olsen (lol), and other random celebs or unknown people. Somewhere along the line in my teen life I decided that partying and my social life was really important and I began to draw less and less until I didn't draw at all and even convinced myself I didn't know how to. This lasted for years. Weird! Well anyways that was along time ago, and I still rarely draw, but now that I'm pregnant the most partying I do consists of take out, sometimes a chocolate bar, and if I'm lucky trivial pursuit with my husband. The other night I got in touch with my creative side once again, and once I started I couldn't stop! The following is a portrait I drew of my baby nephew, Jaxon. It isn't finished yet, but it almost is so I'm posting it anyways.

Since I drew this, I've been wanting to draw even more, so hopefully I've rekindled my love for art and will continue. Drawing this was really relaxing, I just played some music the whole time and was able to just zone out and think about life. I'm pretty happy with it for not having done this in years!

19 weeks.

Tomorrow I'm officially 19 weeks. I think I'm starting to feel some of the first big movements in there. So happy.

Still craving peanut butter!

Dear Baby - 18 weeks

   Today we entered the 18th week of this pregnancy and the bigger you grow, the more exciting it gets. I'm starting to really be able to feel your little prods and kicks every once in a while. I can't wait until they become more consistent, which I've read should happen within the next couple of weeks. I am also so excited to have your Daddy be able to feel the kicks, but that might not happen for another month or so.

16 weeks

18 weeks

          
This week you are the size of a sweet potato! You are my little tater tot! And I love you! 

   It is finally official, the bones in your ears have developed enough so you can totally hear! Right now, you can best hear my heartbeat, but you are also able to hear some things on the outside, like voices and music. A loud noise will startle you - even though I don't want to startle you, I think it's really cute. I've been listening to music all day, for the past 3 days, and now I'm wondering if you can hear it. I want to play you good music all the time so you recognize it and maybe have good taste in music right off the bat! I plan on playing The Beatles and Coldplay a lot for you, just to name a couple.

   My cravings have still been really limited, thank god. I usually crave peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter toast, peanut butter (seeing a pattern here?), fruit, juice, or subway. The past few days I've been feeling a lot more hungry than usual... you are one hungry baby! Sometimes I feel like my stomach is a never ending pit, and sometimes I can barely eat. I still feel like I have no control over my emotions and I will cry at the drop of a hat, or bust out laughing uncontrollably. Stick me in a room with a bunch of pictures of basset hounds running found on pinterest and I'm rolling. Your Daddy has been pretty good at making me laugh and sometimes I worry that I'm shaking you too much! I know it's an irrational fear, but it's something I think about! Last week, I had an emotional meltdown of tears over a jacket of your Daddy's that was lost weeks ago. Why I decided to be upset about it at that moment, I'll never know. Your Daddy probably thinks I'm crazy, sometimes I think the same thing.

My last doctors appointment was at 16 weeks and 5 days. I was counting down the days until this appointment since I found out I was pregnant with you. We received some awesome news! The doctor said he is 80% sure you are a GIRL. We are so excited. Knowing that you are a girl makes all of this more real to us. I try to imagine what you will look like, all the fun things we will do, and you and your Daddy at father daughter dances. I. Can't. Wait. I think we have settled on a name but I'm not ready to announce it just yet. I'm not 100% positive it's YOUR name, and I want to make sure first. I've already bought you some cute girl clothes I can't wait to dress you in.

Your Daddy talks to you everyday and he always rubs my belly and tells me he can't wait to see you and hold you. He says you better hurry up and come out! I have to quickly correct him, I don't want you to hurry up! You aren't ready yet! But, the good news is we've made it 1/2 way through this pregnancy. HOORAY!

We can't wait to meet you. I day dream about holding your little body, giving you tons of hugs and kisses, playing with you, and teaching you everything. We love you so much.

Love,
Your Mommy

Winter Wonderland

Last week our little German town experienced the first snow of the winter that actually stuck to the ground. Although I loathe the snow and cold weather, I always enjoy the first snow of the season. Matt and I had a pretty relaxing weekend at home, which was great, and I was pleased. He stayed home with me all weekend and we watched movies and TV shows. We also took a stroll down a trail in the woods to enjoy the snow, and I took some pictures.

Dear BABY

Dear Baby,

   It has been almost 14 weeks since you officially entered our lives, but the thought of you has been floating around me and your dads head for much longer. Even before that, I have always dreamt of you since I was a little girl. It is safe to say, you are and will continue to be, very loved. We still don't know if you are a boy or a girl, and the anticipation is killing us! We are going to have so much fun with you, and together the three of us will share a tremendous amount of love.

6 weeks

   In the mornings and at night time your daddy gets really close to my belly, rubs it and talks to you, to let you know you are loved and so hopefully you can begin to recognize his voice. He says things like "Good Morning little one, this is your daddy", and it fills my insides up with happiness because those simple words sound so sweet. We aren't sure if you can hear yet, but we like to talk to you anyways. Your dad is truly one of a kind. He is a strong, smart, hilarious man.. and he is so excited to meet you. I try and picture a few years from now - me making dinner and hearing the two of you talk. I think he is going to make you laugh A LOT. This makes me so happy. I'm so excited to see the relationship you will have with him, because he is a lot of fun.

   You have been pretty kind to me during your stay in my belly. No morning sickness the first trimester, and even fatigue didn't set in for a while. I've been gaining a healthy amount of weight so far as well, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. My most prominent symptom has been me being extra emotional! Sometimes this is good (I can be sweet), sometimes it's strange (like crying all the way through 'Father of the Bride 2'), and sometimes it's bad (and I feel bad for you dad), but however it is, it is only temporary and what we get in return is so great. I feel so blessed that I get to share my body with you. Every week I update your daddy on your growth and little milestones you've reached (which I read online or in books), I do this so he gets to experience and connect with you right now as well, even though you haven't made it outside into the world yet. He is always excited to hear about you, and the crazy changes. For instance, you already have fingerprints! And if you have an itch, you scratch it! I enjoy talking about you with him. This gives me and him time to connect too.

8 weeks 5 days

   Food cravings have been minimal, but I can definitely name a few. Juice, Apples, Peanut butter and Jelly, Subway, and sometimes Pizza, are on the top of the list. Sometimes I have a random craving that usually can't fulfill, for example, last night I wanted an Oreo Blizzard from Dairy Queen, but I can't have those right now because we live in Germany (don't worry, by the time you are born we will be in Texas). I also haven't had Dairy Queen in years! The other day I wanted a root beer, and I don't even like root beer. Usually I don't have much of those types of cravings anyways, which is good because I don't want to eat completely unhealthy.
   The only other symptoms I've been experiencing with you is a crazy sleeping schedule and fatigue. I can fall asleep at 5pm for a quick nap and not wake up until 2am! Oops. I'm trying to adjust this so I'm sleeping at more normal times, but I'm also not fighting it if I'm about to doze off. I figure if I am tired I need the rest to help you grow healthy.
   Your dad and I are doing everything we can to make sure you are healthy and happy in there, and we will continue to do so for the rest of our lives. You are so important to us. I really hope you like us, I think we are pretty neat.
   We have been lucky enough to see you at every doctors appointment so far. The most recent one was the most amazing one yet, and they will only get better. At 12 weeks and 5 days (your most recent appointment), we saw almost every part of your body perfectly. We got to see your beautiful little legs and arms, hands and feet, and even your little face. The doctor was taking some measurements of you, and to get you to move, he shook the ultrasound stick a little bit. What happened after that was indescribable. You were moving all over the place! You wouldn't stop! I wish I could describe to you in words how amazing this was. You are a real little human inside my belly. I think you were trying to find another comfy position in there after the doctor prodded you, and I was a little sad he made you move... but I still soaked up every second of watching you wiggle around in there. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. It made me so happy I was literally laughing while watching you. Not because I thought it was funny, but because I think it was the only way my body new how to handle the intense amount of joy and excitement I was feeling. I wanted to cry. I can't wait until I can feel you move around in my belly. I'm surprised I can't now because you are the size of a lemon, or an adult fist! That is big for my belly.

12 weeks 5 days

   Although the only way to see you right now is through a fuzzy black and white screen, I already know you are the most beautiful and perfect little human that I know. I've heard a lot of moms say that the love you feel when you meet your child is like nothing you have ever felt before, well I think I have now experienced a small taste of what is to come, and I would have to agree. I can't wait to feel it all. I was having a bad day this past weekend, and after getting a glass of water and closing the refrigerator door, I glanced at your ultrasound picture that is on the door. Without even thinking I did a double take and looked over at it again, and the next thing I knew I was smiling. I was amazed at how much you could change my attitude so quickly. You are amazing. 

   I cannot wait until you are in my arms and I can hold you, and cuddle you, and tell you how much I love you. I promise you my love is unconditional, and you will never run out of hugs and kisses.

We love you SO much!

Love,
Your mommy