being creative.

Ever since I was a child I loved to draw. I've always been a pretty creative person and remember countless hours doing arts and crafts with my grandmother, by myself, or at school. In high school I took art all the way to my senior year and loved to draw realistic portraits. In fact, somewhere in my old boxes of unpacked crap and childhood memories there is an old folder of portraits of people such as Marilyn Monroe, Jim Morrison, Conor Oberst, Mary-Kate Olsen (lol), and other random celebs or unknown people. Somewhere along the line in my teen life I decided that partying and my social life was really important and I began to draw less and less until I didn't draw at all and even convinced myself I didn't know how to. This lasted for years. Weird! Well anyways that was along time ago, and I still rarely draw, but now that I'm pregnant the most partying I do consists of take out, sometimes a chocolate bar, and if I'm lucky trivial pursuit with my husband. The other night I got in touch with my creative side once again, and once I started I couldn't stop! The following is a portrait I drew of my baby nephew, Jaxon. It isn't finished yet, but it almost is so I'm posting it anyways.

Since I drew this, I've been wanting to draw even more, so hopefully I've rekindled my love for art and will continue. Drawing this was really relaxing, I just played some music the whole time and was able to just zone out and think about life. I'm pretty happy with it for not having done this in years!

19 weeks.

Tomorrow I'm officially 19 weeks. I think I'm starting to feel some of the first big movements in there. So happy.

Still craving peanut butter!

Dear Baby - 18 weeks

   Today we entered the 18th week of this pregnancy and the bigger you grow, the more exciting it gets. I'm starting to really be able to feel your little prods and kicks every once in a while. I can't wait until they become more consistent, which I've read should happen within the next couple of weeks. I am also so excited to have your Daddy be able to feel the kicks, but that might not happen for another month or so.

16 weeks

18 weeks

          
This week you are the size of a sweet potato! You are my little tater tot! And I love you! 

   It is finally official, the bones in your ears have developed enough so you can totally hear! Right now, you can best hear my heartbeat, but you are also able to hear some things on the outside, like voices and music. A loud noise will startle you - even though I don't want to startle you, I think it's really cute. I've been listening to music all day, for the past 3 days, and now I'm wondering if you can hear it. I want to play you good music all the time so you recognize it and maybe have good taste in music right off the bat! I plan on playing The Beatles and Coldplay a lot for you, just to name a couple.

   My cravings have still been really limited, thank god. I usually crave peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter toast, peanut butter (seeing a pattern here?), fruit, juice, or subway. The past few days I've been feeling a lot more hungry than usual... you are one hungry baby! Sometimes I feel like my stomach is a never ending pit, and sometimes I can barely eat. I still feel like I have no control over my emotions and I will cry at the drop of a hat, or bust out laughing uncontrollably. Stick me in a room with a bunch of pictures of basset hounds running found on pinterest and I'm rolling. Your Daddy has been pretty good at making me laugh and sometimes I worry that I'm shaking you too much! I know it's an irrational fear, but it's something I think about! Last week, I had an emotional meltdown of tears over a jacket of your Daddy's that was lost weeks ago. Why I decided to be upset about it at that moment, I'll never know. Your Daddy probably thinks I'm crazy, sometimes I think the same thing.

My last doctors appointment was at 16 weeks and 5 days. I was counting down the days until this appointment since I found out I was pregnant with you. We received some awesome news! The doctor said he is 80% sure you are a GIRL. We are so excited. Knowing that you are a girl makes all of this more real to us. I try to imagine what you will look like, all the fun things we will do, and you and your Daddy at father daughter dances. I. Can't. Wait. I think we have settled on a name but I'm not ready to announce it just yet. I'm not 100% positive it's YOUR name, and I want to make sure first. I've already bought you some cute girl clothes I can't wait to dress you in.

Your Daddy talks to you everyday and he always rubs my belly and tells me he can't wait to see you and hold you. He says you better hurry up and come out! I have to quickly correct him, I don't want you to hurry up! You aren't ready yet! But, the good news is we've made it 1/2 way through this pregnancy. HOORAY!

We can't wait to meet you. I day dream about holding your little body, giving you tons of hugs and kisses, playing with you, and teaching you everything. We love you so much.

Love,
Your Mommy

Winter Wonderland

Last week our little German town experienced the first snow of the winter that actually stuck to the ground. Although I loathe the snow and cold weather, I always enjoy the first snow of the season. Matt and I had a pretty relaxing weekend at home, which was great, and I was pleased. He stayed home with me all weekend and we watched movies and TV shows. We also took a stroll down a trail in the woods to enjoy the snow, and I took some pictures.

Dear BABY

Dear Baby,

   It has been almost 14 weeks since you officially entered our lives, but the thought of you has been floating around me and your dads head for much longer. Even before that, I have always dreamt of you since I was a little girl. It is safe to say, you are and will continue to be, very loved. We still don't know if you are a boy or a girl, and the anticipation is killing us! We are going to have so much fun with you, and together the three of us will share a tremendous amount of love.

6 weeks

   In the mornings and at night time your daddy gets really close to my belly, rubs it and talks to you, to let you know you are loved and so hopefully you can begin to recognize his voice. He says things like "Good Morning little one, this is your daddy", and it fills my insides up with happiness because those simple words sound so sweet. We aren't sure if you can hear yet, but we like to talk to you anyways. Your dad is truly one of a kind. He is a strong, smart, hilarious man.. and he is so excited to meet you. I try and picture a few years from now - me making dinner and hearing the two of you talk. I think he is going to make you laugh A LOT. This makes me so happy. I'm so excited to see the relationship you will have with him, because he is a lot of fun.

   You have been pretty kind to me during your stay in my belly. No morning sickness the first trimester, and even fatigue didn't set in for a while. I've been gaining a healthy amount of weight so far as well, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. My most prominent symptom has been me being extra emotional! Sometimes this is good (I can be sweet), sometimes it's strange (like crying all the way through 'Father of the Bride 2'), and sometimes it's bad (and I feel bad for you dad), but however it is, it is only temporary and what we get in return is so great. I feel so blessed that I get to share my body with you. Every week I update your daddy on your growth and little milestones you've reached (which I read online or in books), I do this so he gets to experience and connect with you right now as well, even though you haven't made it outside into the world yet. He is always excited to hear about you, and the crazy changes. For instance, you already have fingerprints! And if you have an itch, you scratch it! I enjoy talking about you with him. This gives me and him time to connect too.

8 weeks 5 days

   Food cravings have been minimal, but I can definitely name a few. Juice, Apples, Peanut butter and Jelly, Subway, and sometimes Pizza, are on the top of the list. Sometimes I have a random craving that usually can't fulfill, for example, last night I wanted an Oreo Blizzard from Dairy Queen, but I can't have those right now because we live in Germany (don't worry, by the time you are born we will be in Texas). I also haven't had Dairy Queen in years! The other day I wanted a root beer, and I don't even like root beer. Usually I don't have much of those types of cravings anyways, which is good because I don't want to eat completely unhealthy.
   The only other symptoms I've been experiencing with you is a crazy sleeping schedule and fatigue. I can fall asleep at 5pm for a quick nap and not wake up until 2am! Oops. I'm trying to adjust this so I'm sleeping at more normal times, but I'm also not fighting it if I'm about to doze off. I figure if I am tired I need the rest to help you grow healthy.
   Your dad and I are doing everything we can to make sure you are healthy and happy in there, and we will continue to do so for the rest of our lives. You are so important to us. I really hope you like us, I think we are pretty neat.
   We have been lucky enough to see you at every doctors appointment so far. The most recent one was the most amazing one yet, and they will only get better. At 12 weeks and 5 days (your most recent appointment), we saw almost every part of your body perfectly. We got to see your beautiful little legs and arms, hands and feet, and even your little face. The doctor was taking some measurements of you, and to get you to move, he shook the ultrasound stick a little bit. What happened after that was indescribable. You were moving all over the place! You wouldn't stop! I wish I could describe to you in words how amazing this was. You are a real little human inside my belly. I think you were trying to find another comfy position in there after the doctor prodded you, and I was a little sad he made you move... but I still soaked up every second of watching you wiggle around in there. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. It made me so happy I was literally laughing while watching you. Not because I thought it was funny, but because I think it was the only way my body new how to handle the intense amount of joy and excitement I was feeling. I wanted to cry. I can't wait until I can feel you move around in my belly. I'm surprised I can't now because you are the size of a lemon, or an adult fist! That is big for my belly.

12 weeks 5 days

   Although the only way to see you right now is through a fuzzy black and white screen, I already know you are the most beautiful and perfect little human that I know. I've heard a lot of moms say that the love you feel when you meet your child is like nothing you have ever felt before, well I think I have now experienced a small taste of what is to come, and I would have to agree. I can't wait to feel it all. I was having a bad day this past weekend, and after getting a glass of water and closing the refrigerator door, I glanced at your ultrasound picture that is on the door. Without even thinking I did a double take and looked over at it again, and the next thing I knew I was smiling. I was amazed at how much you could change my attitude so quickly. You are amazing. 

   I cannot wait until you are in my arms and I can hold you, and cuddle you, and tell you how much I love you. I promise you my love is unconditional, and you will never run out of hugs and kisses.

We love you SO much!

Love,
Your mommy

Healthy Snack

A couple of weeks ago I discovered a healthy ranch substitute.

If you buy a fat free ranch seasoning packet and mix some of it in non-fat plain greek yogurt, you have something that tastes pretty similar to ranch, and a lot more healthy. This is my study snack.

ALSO:
Matt and I traveled to Dublin, Ireland with 2 of his friends last weekend for Matt's birthday, hopefully I can make a post about it soon.

Wurzburg.

Last weekend Matt and I went to Wurzburg, Germany. A city that is only about 30 minutes away from us, and for some reason we never went besides going to the outskirts to shop at IKEA. Wurzburg has a castle, which was the main reason we went.

We laughed at how small and ridiculous European parking spots can be sometimes. In this particular parking garage, there are 5 floors and each one had only 1-2 parking spots left ...that were this size. Our Honda Accord is huge over here. Parking is not fun- sometimes we aren't laughing about it.

While we were there we also decided to get some lunch. I ordered a Margarita pizza. In America, a Margarita pizza is cheese with tomato slices and spinach on top, right? Here in Germany it's just a plain old cheese pizza. For shame! Also, after declining the english menu, what Matt thought was a baguette sandwich that he ordered for a meal turned out to be toast with garlic on it. Oh, the European adventures.

Wurzburg was really nice! It was really easy to get around and outside in the Aldstadt (Old City) there was a couple of stages set up with some music and vendors selling bratwurst and other German foods.